02.23.06

For Seth

Posted in death at 10:56 pm

Hi April,

have you heard from seth in the last week? no one can get a hold of him and his apartment complex apparently says he doesn’t live there anymore…. sam got worried enough to call me. any thoughts?

Liesl

My friend Seth moved to Colorado from San Diego about three years ago. It was shortly after the wildfires that raged through San Diego county in the autumn of 2002. The owners’ of the house he was living in decided that they needed it back. There was some confusion over whether or not their other home burned in the wildfires. I’m not certain on that point. While trying to figure out what to do, he felt that he had been touched by God and directed to move to Colorado. Without warning, he left San Diego one night and drove to an apartment that he had leased over the phone and moved in.

Seth disappeared last year in late October; it was as if he had fallen off the face of the earth. Seth did not leave any messages as to where he was going, or what he was up to. At first, no one was very concerned. Several friends were guessing that he probably had resumed his long haul truck-driving career and was on the road. Or perhaps he had packed up and moved once again.

Eventually, several of Seth’s friends became concerned enough to do a little bit of investigating. They called his apartment complex, and the manager said that Seth had moved out and the only notice he had received was the apartment lease torn up and left inside an envelope in his mailbox. None of his stuff was left behind in the apartment, but by that time there was no way to know if Seth had placed his things in a dumpster or had taken them with him. Seth’s mother filed a missing person’s report with the local police from her home in Florida. The police told her that since there was no evidence of foul play and because Seth was an adult, there was not much they could do (or would do).

This whole time though, I feared the worst. Seth was 29 when he disappeared, and he had told me several times throughout the years that he “did not expect to live to be 30.” Knowing that Seth was not interested in skydiving or street lugeing, I did not understand why he felt this way. He never said this in a way that made it seem that he feared for his life, just a matter-of-fact statement that his life would be over sooner rather than later. Of course, this made me worried for him, but when I asked him to elaborate on why he felt that way, he would just repeat, “I don’t know, I just don’t think I am going to live to be 30.”

When I learned that he was missing, I was filled with dread. I prayed that he hadn’t done something to harm himself. I tried to hold out hope that he had just re-located again without notifying anybody. But then the packages began to arrive.

His mother received in the mail a package that contained the urn of Seth’s brother. Another friend received a computer joystick that Seth owned. Yet another friend received Seth’s brand-new computer and a check for $1300.00. Seth did not owe this friend any money. Then his aunt received a large package that contained Seth’s gun collection. One of the guns from the collection was missing.

At that point, I think everyone realized that Seth would never be found alive, although I heard that Seth’s mother “had a feeling that he is in Canada.” There was nothing further that anyone could do though. Seth had obviously plotted his disappearance very carefully and had no interest in ever being found. It was only dumb luck that he was.

Hi April,

I tried to get your phone number from mom (I’m assuming you have a cell still) since you haven’t been on aim (i’m imagining you don’t have much time to be on the internet being that you moved 2? days ago) but she couldn’t find it. Anyway… bad news. Some fishermen found Seth’s body by a lake in the mountains near Denver. Apparently he had driven out there, hiked a ways from his car and then shot himself. I’m sorry you had to hear about it via e-mail but it’s the only way I could think of to contact you.

Hope the move is going good. Sam has the most info, he talked to Seth’s mom. If you need to talk drop me a line…

Liezl

Seth had driven his car to a national park in Colorado, and then hiked several miles to an off-limits area. He committed suicide on the shore of a lake. A fisherman had gone to the same off-limits area to do a little illegal fishing and noticed a pile of clothes from a distance.

I don’t know when or why he decided that he could not live to be 30. Was it when the girl he loved revealed that the baby she was carrying wasn’t his while they were driving to Vegas to get married? Was it because his father used to say that he himself wouldn’t live to be 40, and then died of a heart attack when he was 38? Or did Seth feel that God had spoken to him once again? No suicide note was ever found and now Seth’s friends and family only have these questions to ponder.

I was angry when I learned what Seth had done to himself. But I have come to accept it and I try to console myself with happy memories of the time we had together. The hours spent at coffeehouses, poring over the San Diego Reader. Sitting with him in a BMW Z4 that he rented for $1,500 and watching him enjoy the admiring glances of women in La Jolla as he drove the car. Sitting in his lap and doing shots of rum at parties.

Seth Morrison was a good man. He cared very much for his friends and was very generous. I wish that he was still with us, and I know that he enjoyed his life while he was here. And maybe if enough of us remember him, a piece of him will still be alive in those who loved him.

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