Once Upon a Time...

Of all the silly nonsense,
this is the stupidest tea party I've ever been to in all my life.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

My First Troll, brought to you by Hasbro

My sister, being the wonderful person she is, and indulgent of my incessant attention-whoring, linked to my recent post about Privacy and Blogging from a blog that she contributes to called JimmyAkin.org. JimmyAkin.org is run by a Catholic apologist and the topics there usually involve the teachings of the Catholic church.

It isn't too suprising then that Michelle's post about my "Privacy and Blogging" parable did not receive much attention there. It did not get any comments until sometime today. A reader by the name of Anonymous, posted some incendiary statements about me. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see the comment for myself as Michelle, out of filial loyalty to me, deleted it from the web site.

I am so bummed.

Michelle did call me up and told me the gist of what Anonymous had to say.

Anonymous apparently feels that I am "unaccomplished twenty-something." Thank you, Captian Obvious. (S)He went on to say that they were planning on calling South Carolina's Child Protective Services as I have admitted to slamming mudslides and then driving my kid home. (Which, by the way, I never did. I had a designated driver. How many mudslides she had, I will not be disclosing here.)

First, may I suggest to future asshats that wish to question my parental competancy actually do so on my own blog?

That aside, Anonymous, when you call South Carolina CPS, please don't forget to let them know about these infractions as well:
  1. On her request, feeding Daughter a drop of mole sauce from a can of chipotle peppers, and then laughing maniacally at her when she twisted up her face and declared, "I don't like that."
  2. Chewing on my child's limbs any chance that I get. Mmm... pudgy fleshy arms.
  3. Threatening to throw Daughter in the washing machine the next time she colors on herself with $25.00 tubes of lipstick.
  4. Selling her toys for crack cocaine.
  5. Calling her a liar when she tells me that she can't step away from the fire ants because she "can't walk very good yet."
  6. Planting raspberries on her belly for an hour straight until she begs for mercy.
  7. Husband and I eating most of her Halloween candy.
  8. Playing catch with her. That is, tossing her little body across the living room to my husband.
  9. Allowing grown men to play in the attic above her room until they crash through the ceiling.
  10. Telling her every single day that she is the most clever, wonderful, beautiful and special little girl in the world, and I am so proud and lucky that God trusted her with me. And then shoving Oreos down her throat.

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