10.06.08

How to Seduce My Husband in Four Easy Steps

Posted in husband, list at 3:22 pm

  1. Wrap your entire mouth over and around a freshly unwrapped Drumstick ice cream treat. (see illustration)
  2. Smile coyly at Husband and say innocently, “What? I like ice cream!”
  3. Wait eight hours until the offspring is in bed.
  4. Profit!

01.26.07

Reasons Why Getting Fired Might Not Be So Bad

Posted in list, work at 2:44 pm

    1. All that ironing I was dreading having to do… don’t have to do it!
    2. I’m going to be able to wear my “Stick it to the man” t-shirt a lot more often.
    3. As lovely a drive as it was, I don’t think I’m going to miss the 1.5 hour commute, each way.
    4. Have you been watching Guiding Light lately? It’s awesome!
    5. I woke up this morning with sunshine streaming through the window, the cat on my head, and Daughter giving me an Eskimo kiss.
    6. I can totally stay up as late as I want!
    7. I missed playing that monthly daredevil game of, “Can We Pay the Mortgage?”
    8. Sweet Mother of God, I will never have to use Verdana again!
    9. With all of this newfound quality time we have, Husband is going to have so many more opportunities to pretend he’s ignoring me when I tell stupid jokes.
    10. Well, that’s another character-building life experience I can cross off my list.